the giant in YOUR backyard... foster care

“Let me introduce you to the giant standing in YOUR backyard…”

The last few days, the fatherless of our society has really been on my heart. On Thursday night, a friend and I attended a dinner/ informational meeting sponsored by DHS and the Office of Faith Based and Community Initiatives. The “Change a Child's Forever” campaign hosted a community meeting to discuss how faith congregations can become involved in foster care ministries. As a foster parent and a disciple of Jesus, I was challenged by what I heard and learned to do more. Let me introduce you to the giant (named OKDHS) in YOUR own backyard….

•114,492 children were reported as alleged victims of abuse and neglect in the state of Oklahoma last year alone


• 11,714 of those children were confirmed to be victims of child abuse and neglect last year

• In 2008, there were over 11,000 children in foster care in the state of Oklahoma and over 40% of those children were under the age of 4.

• In Oklahoma county, there are 1,685 children in DHS custody and ONLY 300 foster care homes (“the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few” Matthew 9:37)

• 60% of confirmed victims of abuse are 6 years old and younger (in OK)

• 64% are white, 17.6% black, and 16.8% Indian (in OK)

• The perpetrator of abuse is usually mom (45%) or dad (30%)- 75% of all cases (in OK)

• The type of abuse in Oklahoma can be broken down as follows: Neglect=84%, Physical Abuse= 12%, Sexual Abuse= 4%

• Top 6 reasons for neglect are as follows: substance abuse= 19.17%, threat of harm= 18.9%, failure to protect= 17.7%, exposure to domestic violence = 9.52%, inadequate or dangerous shelter= 9.52%, and lack of supervision= 7.53%

• This means that the typical child in the Oklahoma foster care system is a white 6 year old boy neglected due to parental substance abuse such as meth

As a foster mom, I leave almost every family court date and almost every encounter on my foster baby’s behalf juts completely frustrated and overwhelmed at the brokenness of our system and the ways it seems that these children are falling through the cracks. I kinda feel like David facing Goliath but without even one stone to throw. My heart hurts when I face statistics like those listed above that support the reality that MANY children are part of an epidemic that could be classified as a giant in our own backyard. So where is HOPE in statistics like these?

Throughout scripture, God’s tender heart towards the fatherless and orphaned is a recurring theme. He commands us as believers to care for and defend the poor and fatherless among us (Psalm 82:3, Psalm 10:17-18, Isaiah 1:17, Jeremiah 5:28, Zechariah 7:9-11, James 1:27). When I first moved to the great state of Oklahoma, I was taken back by the way there seems to be a church on VERY corner. But the way our state is flooded with believers actively involved in local church is where I believe our hope in defeating this giant sized problem can be found!!

Becoming a foster parent is not for everyone… but I believe we all can do something to love on the fatherless among us. Today on father’s day, think about what you can do to serve the giant in your own backyard….

Top 10 Things You Can
Do For A Foster Child:

10. Pray for the children in foster care and their families.

9. Collect birthday gifts for the foster children in your community.

8. Have a baby shower to collect baby essentials.

7. Collect luggage for foster children in transition (most children are forced to use trash bags when they move into new placements, what message does this send about their value and worth?)

6. Create toddler toy boxes.

5. Mentor a foster child.

4. Be an alternate caregiver for a foster family.

3. Contact your local OKDHS foster care specialist about specific needs in your community.

2. Host foster children’s visits with their birth families, support groups for foster parents, free child care nights out, or other events that support foster parents at your facility.

1. Become a foster parent or forever family for a child!!

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE WORLD, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD FOR ONE CHILD!!

Transition from WHERE there is no doctor... WHY there is no doctor??!!

"Let us be the ones who say we do not accept that a child dies every three seconds simply because he does not have the drugs you and I have. Let us be the ones to say we are not satisfied that your place of birth determines your right to life. Let us be outraged, let us be loud, let us be bold!" ~actor Brad Pitt


"You can not comfort the afflicted without afflicting the comfortable." ~Princess Diana



On my very first medical mission trip to Haiti and fresh out of nursing school, I was introduced to this handy dandy book called "Where There Is No Doctor". Over the last several years, I have gotten a lot of invaluable information from that book that has helped us as we have navigate our way through numerous medical missions trips since that first trip back in 2005. Many consider "Where There Is No Doctor" their health bible when doing medical mission work. I carry it with me on every trip I take, and refer to it often. The information provided in this book is simple, straight forward, and easy to read. The finest academic medical preparation can not prepare an American health care workers for medical mission work in developing countries... we rely too much on our equipment, advanced technology, and almost indisposeable and readily available resources that when we are overwhelmed and struggle, to say the least, when we are throw into an environment without the comforts of our health care system. So books and resources like "Where There Is No Doctor" have attempted to bridge that gap and help ease the transition from modern medicine to the primitive medicine that exists in third world countries like Haiti. But as awesome and helpful as this book has proven to be... lately I have been thinking short term medical mission trips are as helpful as trying to put a band-aid on a sliced open pulmonary artery. And I am feeling that instead of relying on "Where There Is No Doctor" we should start asking "Why There Is No Doctor"??!

Our church and the teams we have sent have sponsored three medical clinics in Haiti in the last six months. We have seen over 300 patients in our make shift clinics (many who had never been to a doctor and who willing to wait all day to be seen). We treated a variety of ailments from bladder infections to malaria to severe malnourishment to tuberculosis.

The purpose for our most recent trip was an emergency tuberculosis clinic. We tested over 100 people in one community and had about 17 positive tests. In the course of trying to find follow up care for those who tested positive, we traveled one day to a hospital about 2 hours away from the orphanage where we worked. The road to the hospital is ROUGH terrain.... but worth every bump along the way because I have been forver changed by what I saw that day.

Anyone who has watched any amount of late night TV has surely seen the commercials for organizations like Christian Child Fund depicting what life is like for starving children with swollen bellies promoting child sponsorship programs... and although through our travels to Haiti, I have seen some children who could be classified as severely malnourished, NOTHING could have prepared my heart for what I would see in that pediatric unit in that hospital! We saw children who were completely emaciated and literally wasting away. I watched a father painfully feed his almost unconscious lethargic son a protein fortified formula with tears in his eyes and I have have never prayed so earnestly for healing in my life.

As a nurse, as I watched auxiliary nurses move from patient to patient with no hand washing or gloves, it almost killed me to see the lack of infection control that existed in that ward. I think our beloved Florence Nightingale would be turning in her grave at some of the practices there. As a mom, my heart broke in a million pieces, as I saw the looks on worried parents faces at the children's bedside. But as American, I felt a kind of indescribable shame, as I watched children dying of COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE AND TREATABLE CONDITIONS.

Coming home and trying to process what we saw and experienced has left me with more questions than answers. Like why are some American actors more active is fighting the diseases and injustices of extreme poverty than some American Christians are? And what is my piece of this puzzle and where is my responsibility in it? But most of all why is there no doctor? And how can we right the wrongs of health care in developing countries?

"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed." ~ Mother Teresa

"It's the greatest poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish" ~ Mother Teresa

Haiti Flag Day... National Pride in the Midst of Extreme Poverty

Here is another snapshot of our last trip to Haiti....

During our last trip to Haiti, we got to experience our first flag day there. May 18th is a national holiday in which Haitian people celebrate their nation and their flag which is indisputably a symbol of great pride. If a picture is worth a thousands words.. I'll let these pictures speak volumes about the pride that exists within Haitian hearts and keep this blog post short and sweet.

The children at the orphanage and school in Fedja celebrated by making flags and participating in a parade in Mirebalais. Before the parade, Jake preached a sermon about freedom in Christ and the significance of being free from bondage of sin.


I am reading some books on Haitian history and community development there... and have learned so much about the people who have stolen my heart. Haitian was founded in 1804 by former slaves after an extraordinary revolution against their French oppressors. Haiti once stood as a beacon of hope and inspiration for colonized people but is notorious in today's society for the desperate poverty of its people and the violent instability of its state. I have seen a survivor mentality exist among some of the sweet brothers and sisters I have meet there as they daily make gut wrenching decisions that I will never be faced with. One sweet woman shared her heart as her children were given the opportunity to go school and have their uniforms, books, and tuition paid for... yet she was torn because she was unsure about her families livelihood as going to school meant having less help working in the families farming fields. Their land is eroding, their bodies are exhausted and malnourished,they disease stricken from many preventable and treatable conditions that have been long eradicated from developed nations, and YET THEY HAVE A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF HOPE AND PRIDE IN THEIR NATION!


As someone who has spent time serving the precious people of Haiti, I am blown away and humbles by their pride in their fragmented country and their indomitable spirit is contagious!

Girl effect... THIS IS MY GIRL!!

Do not read any more until you have finished watching the video below....



I saw this "girl effect" video at the medical mission conference I went to this weekend. When the video asked you to imagine a girl in a poverty, I immediately thought of this precious girl named O'Chelley. If I had a suitcase large enough, I definitely would have brought her home with me a long time ago.

Let me introduce you... she's pretty much amazing!! She lives at the orphanage we work with in Haiti. She is shy at first but once you get to know her, you will soon discover that she has one of the most sweet, gentle, and precious spirits ever. She is one of the older girls at the orphanage and is definitely the mother hen of the group. She ALWAYS has a little posse of girls following her around wherever she goes... not just because she is a natural born leader but also because she is so attentive to their needs. In the morning, she starts her day early with helping the younger girls dress,making sure all they get their teeth brushed, and their hair done(and everyday there is a HUGE line for her hair styling services). At meal times, she can be found feeding one or even two babies on her lap. The only time she is not focused on caring and loving her "baby chicks" is the 3 or 4 hours a day she attends school. I have seen her on several occasions with a lap full of children reading them "Amelia Bedelia" or a torn up "Beginners Bible". In the evenings before bed, she leads ALL of the girls in the most beautiful and precious song time. While GVCM employs nannies to care for the children, O'Chelley works equally as hard (if not harder) at the daunting task of caring for all 57 children. Although she is an orphan herself and has never been given the gift of a nurturing mothering role model, at the tender age of 9, she is the "momma" to more children than you could imagine. Like I said, she is pretty much amazing!

Driving back from Kansas City,my friend Belinda and I were talking about our some of the kids who stole our hearts in Haiti... and she has this brilliant idea of sending our little O'Chelley to nursing school one day.

A few days ago, I blogged about my first Haitian wedding and the heart break I felt watching the bride require assistance signing her marriage license because she was unable to read and write. And honestly I felt numb and overwhelmed... some issues in life are too big for one person to tackle. I can not teach millions of illiterate women in Haiti to read! But I can profoundly impact one girl's life who can profoundly impact another girl's life and so on and so on.

Knowing what I know about developing nations and having seen the devastation of extreme poverty with my own eyes, it easy to become overwhelmed at the magnitude of injustices. But there is so much hope for nations like Haiti because of girls like O' Chelley!!

Who is you girl? Who will you invest in? Don't have one.... it's no big deal, JUST HUMANITY!

My Big Fat Haitian Wedding?!

Here's another snapshot from our time in Haiti a few weeks ago....

Being a sentimental romantic sap, I love me a good wedding!!! So I was thrilled to learn the day after we arrived in Haiti, there was a wedding at the church and we were invited!! In fact, we were even asked to be the wedding photographers lol. Looking back, I am laughing at myself because when we were first invited to the wedding, Belinda and I's first reaction was "but what will we wear?" (because our luggage hadn't arrived and yet and we were pretty ripe on day 2 without clean clothes). Even though I didn't understand a word of the ceremony, I could not hold back the tears from flowing but not for the reasons one might think.

The price tag of an average American wedding is $22,000. Americans spend an alarming $72,000,000,000 annually on weddings (that's a lot of zero's). We have created a lucrative industry out of something God intended to be beautiful and sacred. The urban slang dictionary describes one aspect of this industry, known as Bridezilla, as "a new breed of soon-to-wed women who abuse the idea that weddings are their 'day.'They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to insure that they are the single most important person on the planet from the time they are engaged to the time they are married."

Yet on that Saturday afternoon, I saw the polar opposite of an American bridezilla. Instead of a couple caught up in planning and preparations of a wedding, I saw a couple caught up in the planning and preparation of a Christ centered marriage. Everything from the decorations (which consisted only of colorful chains of links of construction paper)to the one vase of silk flowers screamed simplicity and beauty. Most of the ceremony was similar to an American wedding but just much more simple and casual. The bride and groom sit facing each other while the best man and maid of honor sit by their sides. The most beautiful sight of all was the bride and groom, best man and maid of honor, literally kneeling on the church floor in heartfelt prayer together!


After the groom and kissed the bride(and the audience erupted in laughter,) it was time to sign the marriage certificate. As the photographer lol, I wanted to capture this in a picture. But as I watched the bride struggle to hold a pen much less write her name, the picture of illiteracy in Haiti was burned on my heart as I watched the Pastor sign the bride's name for her because she could not. My heart physically ached for the bride because of what may have been the best day of her life, she was reminded of the reality that she could not read or write. I then watched the mother of bride require assistance signing her name as well and the portrait of cultural and generational illiteracy was etched onto my heart.

As an avid reader and writer, if I woke up tomorrow morning and somehow lost my ability my read and write, that would be near torture for me. Yet 55% of Haitian (more than half) can not read or write. According to UNICEF, more than half of the nation's children fail to reach the fifth grade, and only one in five young people reach secondary school. As a bachelors degree prepared nurse (who has been considering going back to school to work on my master's in nursing), I am humbled when I think about how easy my education was to access (THANKS DAD!). And as I try to wrap my mind around how different my life and the beautiful bride's life must be, I can't help but to wonder why I have been so blessed?

As my heart broke over the bride's lack of education and beautifully humble heart... I thought of quote I heard years ago.... "How many Rosa Parks or Marie Curies have we lost to poverty? How many Maya Angelous or Sandra Day O'Connors never had a chance to learn? How many Mother Teresas have lost hope due to neglect and abuse?"

Spending time in a third world country is always a dose of reality and gut check for me. It makes me wonder why I have been given the resources I have been given and what God wants to me to do about the injustices I see in the world. It also has made us examine ridiculous ways we have spent our money in the past. And yet the more time I spend in Haiti, the more I think WE can learn from THEM (instead of the reverse) and their humble nuptials are just the tip of the iceberg.

PS the morning after the big fat Haitian wedding happened to fall on a Sunday and our sweet bride and groom where spotted on the front row of church... when most couples would be on their honeymoon, they were building a marriage foundation on the rock!!

Feet don't fail me now...

Instead of trying to condense our entire trip to Haiti in one blog... this time I am going to try to to give you snapshots of our experiences there :-)

When we went to Haiti in last November, my friend Belinda instantly fell in love with two little neighborhood boys named Ebby and Tiken. Ebby and Tiken's mother passed away several years ago and they have never known their father. When we visited in November, we found them severely malnourished and being cared for by their maternal grandmother who could barely even care for herself. Grandma worked all day at the market leaving the boys (ages 3 and 6)by themselves all day long. Belinda and her daughter Shelby felt an instant connection to the boys and after talking to her husband when they returned in December, they began pursuing adopting the boys with their grandmother's blessing.

But unfortunately their grandma moved sometime between our last visit and us going back last week. We knew they moved but we had no idea where or how to find them. Belinda had resigned herself to the fact that finding the boys and being reunited with them last week would be difficult, if not impossible.... but when we landed in Haiti we started praying that somehow God would lead us to them and she could see them if even just for a brief moment.

The first morning we were there, I asked the other neighborhood boys if they knew where Ebby and Tiken were at. One of the older boys (Watson) kept pointing in the distance and saying something but the language barrier that existed left us as clueless as to their whereabouts as ever. We eventually found a translator who told us that Watson knew where they moved but we couldn't get there by walking so we loaded up in the truck with Watson in tow, hoping and praying that somehow this kid would be able to lead us to the boys.

A few short miles away, we found a cluster of hut homes. Belinda barely waited for the truck to stop before literally jumping out and sprinting across a valley to where the hut home was. The home was empty but never underestimate a determined mom... a few seconds later, we see the boys in the distance walking back, bare naked, from bathing in the creek. And once again Belinda took off running to them. As soon as the boys realized that the "blanc" running towards them was Belinda, they too began sprinting to be reunited. The pictures above are the three of them shortly after being reunited :-)

It was a beautiful scene and I feel blessed that through my tears I was able to witness this unfolding!! It reminded me how powerful and determined a mother's heart can be. International adoption are a constant up and down roller ride of emotions that can not be described to someone who has not experienced it themselves. There are so many hurdles that an adoptive mom must cross but with the determination of a marathon runner, an adoptive mom is an unstoppable force that can not be contained!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=demRHgul2Zk

But seeing Belinda's unwavering determination as she has faced many hurdles in this adoption already (ones that go WAY beyond them just moving), I am reminded of how RELENTLESS God was in pursuing and chasing me. He chased me when I was chasing the things of this world to find the love I so desperately needed! Belinda loves those boys so much that she will do whatever it takes for them to legally become her own children and to improve their quality of life by giving them a loving and nurturing home. God- who loves you and I so much that pursued you until you became one of his children- desires to have an intimate and life-giving relationship with you and I. And eventually, we will be at the point in our journey when we are running towards Him instead of away from Him...the more I know of His great love for me, the more I am compelled to run to Him frequently and zealously!



Please continue to pray for Belinda, Ebby, and Tiken as they continue on this journey!

God's faithfulness in lost luggage...

Arriving at the Port Au Prince (PAP)airport can be VERY overwhelming for someone who is a PAP virgin but as we stepped off the airplane into the humid and tropical climate that greeted us Haiti, I was feeling oh so CONFIDENT. I knew what to expect after traveling there so much lately... I knew that there would be no organized exiting the aircraft and people would push their way to whatever exit struck their fancy regardless of whether it was behind them and would completely disrupt the flow of traffic. I knew to expect a long hot line going through customs where most people would completely disregard line etiquette and cut in front of you if they felt worthy. I knew that finding your luggage on the one and only baggage carousal was nothing short of a miracle and pushing your way through the hoards of anxious travelers to grab your suitcase would be difficult even for a NFL defensive linemen. I knew that a dozen men would try to carry my luggage (expecting a huge tip in return) and an ASSERTIVE "No Merci!" (aka "No thank you!") was my only hope of avoiding a hefty token of "gratitude" or outbreak of world war III. Yep knowing all this gave me a false sense of confidence that buzzing in and out of PAP would be a breeze... but I was sorely mistaken.

For starters, apparently Haiti was decided to jump on the H1N1 band wagon and even though they have a million other "legitimate" health crisis' on their hands... they now require each traveler to answer a questionnaire in customs assessing the likelihood you might be a swine flu carrier. The questionnaire is completely in French but with the help of a Creole dictionary and some savvy nursing knowledge we passed that hurdle and made our way to the baggage claim area.... only to find that half of our luggage had NOT made it's way to PAP. Being the mature and selfless person I am (lol, as if) I was thrilled to see that the luggage that had found its way to PAP was Jake's suitcases and the suitcases containing my clean clothes and toiletries (and Belinda's) were just stuck in Miami. I had to laugh at the irony of the fact that Jake's luggage made it, even though he would be perfectly happy not showering or having clean clothes all week, but mine didn't and I am the biggest hyigenetically correct, clean freak, germ- a- phob- person you will ever meet. Not gonna lie, I REALLY thought I needed clean clothes and deordant at that point but God knew what we truly needed and in His providence and faithfulness provided.

Yet this lost luggage was our first opportunity to taste God's faithfulness on the trip.... you see Jake had packed the TB test vials and syringe's in his suitcase. The vials were ice packed and needed to be refrigerated. If his luggage had not made it to PAP, due to lack of refrigeration, we would not have been able to test anyone for TB and our sole purpose of the trip would have failed miserably. In allowing Jake's suitcase containing the iced vials to make it to PAP, God's providence was once again meeting us at every step of our journey.

Last week, Jake finished up a series with the youth group called "Do Hard Things". Something he said last Wednesday really resonated with me... he said that "God is WAY more concerned about growing in my faith and relationship with Him than in my momentary comfort and pleasure!!" God never promised us a comfortable life and if we choose comfort over our calling, we just might miss out on some of the greatest adventures of our life!!

The lost luggage and my resulting brief moment of being uncomfortable (and quite stinky and dirty) was totally worth it because it allowed me to be stretch in faith and trust in His providence a little more. It also allowed to feel just a little of what it must be like to walk in the shoes of those we served... and for that I am so thankful!! And was even more thankful when our luggage arrive last the next night and I was able to shower 48 hours later :-)

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this rough one of me might just be pretty valuable.... and you could smell me from a mile away at that point as well.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Philippians 4:19,20