If Momma aint happy...

The last few days I have been evaluating my parenting skills and falling short of my own standards. It kind of started on Saturday when I was trying to overcome a case of guilt because on that day I missed not one but two of Jimso’s soccer games (which then lead me to realize that although he has been playing soccer for 4 weeks, I have attended 0 , count them, 0 games). All week long, I found myself having to be in two places at one time and since cloning myself is not scientifically possible (yet), I came to realize some things are going to have to change before I lose my sanity and /or my children end up in a lifetime of therapy due to my poor parenting skills, poor time management skills, and my inability to say “no” when I need to. Here’s a sample of parenting report card lately…

• I lose my temper because my youngest son has taken 45 minutes to brush his teeth in morning and thrown a severe loop in our tight morning schedule = Bad Mom

• My daughter and oldest son actually want to spend time hanging out with me in the evening= Good Mom, but I have too much to do and don’t make it in there until its already past bedtime= Bad Mom

• I send lunch money (BEFORE I start getting ugly notes about the negative balance) and fill out the field trip permission slip on the first day it comes home (which I have graciously volunteered to help with)= Good Mom

• I am 20 minutes late to my son’s football game, sit and cheer obnoxiously on the opposing team’s side of the bleachers, and embarrassingly insist on waving at him until he realizes we are in fact there = Bad Mom

• Because of a schedule that is completely unmanageable, I have yet to have one meaningful conversation with their Dad all week long = Bad Mom

• My baby reminds me that he loves me to the “moon and back” as I tuck him into bed= Good Mom

Whether it is my own perfectionist standards that I am failing to meet or that annoying little Proverbs 31 woman that seems to be reminding me over and over how short I am falling, I don’t know but I do know that this particular season we are in is teaching me to slow down or else. Sometimes saying “no” to one thing means being able to say “yes” to something else that matters most (which usually mean my precious family). Proverbs 31:28 says, “Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:” I learned this weekend at DIVA day, that the word for blessed in that verse means is “Asher” and means “happy”. If you asked my children or husband to describe me in the last few days, I am pretty sure “happy” would not be on the list. But when they are grown up and look back on their childhood and the woman that raised them, I hope that they would describe me as “happy.” Not tired, not worried, not stressed, not organized, not clean, not really busy…. Just happy. I want them to be able to say “my mom was really really happy”. Cuz we all know, “if Momma aint happy, aint no one happy”